My Testimony

Before we start on our journey together through God’s Word I think I should share my Testimony and how God as not only changed my life but has unimaginably improved it through his love for me.

My journey began in October of 2001. I had become disabled two years previous through some creative doctoring I had received which left me in a life or death struggle. I know I needed something but was totally unaware of what that something was.

While working at my children’s elementary school I got to know a godly woman who ultimately changed my life forever. I had been searching for answers to my frustrations and pains from the multiple surgeries I had undergone because of, we’ll call it bad medicine. I don’t know who I was mad at or if I even thought I was looking for answers. As they say hindsight is 20-20. One afternoon in October I was on lunchroom duty with my girlfriend Cathy. She was a mother of four boys ages ranging from sixth grade to preschool. What attracted me to her was something I couldn’t put into words at that time. Looking back nine years I know she at “IT”. It you might ask, what’s this “IT” you talk about. When I describe to people what IT is I now know that the IT she had was Jesus. Not knowing that at the time and with my worldly eyes I just knew I wanted to be like her. It was like she knew a secret and I wanted in on that secret. Like when you are in school and the “Popular” kids shared stories and knowledge of things that the not so or not at all popular kids could just guess about. She had the “Popular” kid knowledge and I wanted into that circle for once in my life. I thought to myself maybe she was the key to unlocking the door to that thing, that missing something in my life. the empty hole that I kept trying to fill with worldly substitutes. I was buying into the world’s view of what could fill the hole, big house, fancy car, parties, and even other people. I bought into the enemies lie.

While Cathy and I were watching the kids eat their lunch she mentioned how she was getting ready to start a new Bible Study at her church. I was so desperate to be thought of as one of her friends, to be part of the in crowd, I asked if I could come. At the time I didn’t know what compelled me to be so bold and invite myself into her circle. I know now it was Jesus giving me the nudge that I needed in order to find the missing piece, the piece I was trying to fill with the world’s ideas. I was just as surprised by her response. She was genuinely excited I asked and gave me all the information I needed to be there the next day.

I showed up to class the next morning not knowing a soul except for Cathy. She introduced me to a lady named Diane who appeared to be one of the leaders. After asking her when her baby was due and being told that her “baby” was now seven then I was told she was the pastor’s wife. Strike one in the making new friends column. We then all sat around big tables and sang some praise songs. I had never heard any of the songs and felt very out of place. Strike two. When the discussion started and questions were being posed to the students the ladies, every one of them, sounded so intelligent. They knew the answers, they knew the language and I know I was totally out of my comfort zone and way over my head. I sat quietly through the rest of class and made a beeline for the door. Probably commenting about some important meeting I had to get to which was a total lie. When I got into my car I told myself that was not where I needed to be.

The next day I told Cathy the same thing I had told myself in the car the day before. She tried to convince me that my perception of the ladies and her was all in my head. Unfortunately that was where the enemy had taken up residency. One week later I still don’t understand why but I went back to that same class with those same women. As I walked through the door carrying my “Book of Mormon” with me Cathy began to cry. She told me that she had prayed all week that God would change my mind. I just smiled at her and gave one of those smart-alecky replies you give when you are nervous and scarred. As class proceeded through the morning I could feel something tugging at me. I didn’t know what it was but I know I needed to figure it out if for no other reason so I could get some rest.

We were doing the Beth Moore study “Breaking Free”. Looking back how appropriate a study for God to get me involved in. During and through that study someone had given me a card that had the Pray of Salvation on it. I stuck it into my pocket and went on my way. Two or three weeks later while doing one of my favorite chores (NOT) laundry I came across that card and it all fell into place. Everything I had read, studied and heard all made sense. Right there in my laundry room I gave my life to Jesus. I asked him to be my salvation, my Lord and my friend.

The next day I got to go to class but this time it was different. This time I was excited to learn not just be social. When I got to the church I saw Cathy the second I walked through the door. I couldn’t wait to tell her. I hadn’t told anyone yet. She was the first person that I told. She was so excited for me she cried which made me cry. She quickly got all the ladies attention and made the big announcement that I was part of God’s family and part of His plan. There were a lot of shouts of joy and hugs. When I finally made it to my table there was a gift box waiting for me. When I opened it I was totally speechless. Inside the box was a beautiful leather Bible with my name inscribed on the bottom corner. God’s timing is unbelievable. They had to have ordered the Bible weeks before to get the inscription and to present it to me the morning after I gave my life to Jesus was amazing. Up until that moment only God and I knew yet He made sure I would be able to study His word. Looking back this was the first miracle is witnessed in my own life.

Since that day I have grown stronger in my walk, my love for Jesus has become deeper. My husband and children have all found Jesus, making our family a like minded unit of Christ followers. We have left the comforts of our live on the West Coast and relocated across the country to Tennessee where I have been blessed again by a loving church family and the mentors that have allowed me to follow my passion for writing be blossom.

Please don’t misunderstand me, every day is a new day with new adventures and new obstacles to conquer. I have gone through 20 separate surgeries over the last ten years and have more to follow in my futures due to unforeseen medical malpractice. I had half of those before I knew Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and the other half with. The surgeries and recoveries are still painful and long but the difference was the inner peace I felt going in as well as coming out. I know I was in God’s hands. He is the great physician and I was His little girl. It sounds strange to hear but if something had gone wrong and I had to die I knew where I was going. Now that is a peace you just can’t get anywhere else.

With God right next to me there is nothing that can get in my way but me, He knows where the bumps are. My prayer is that I would just stay out of my way and let God be in charge.